It was a bad day. I'm a fairly confident person, sometimes prideful even. I believe I have what it takes or at the very least, I feel like if I'm motivated to do almost anything, I could accomplish it. I do not feel that way about parenting anymore. Today, I seriously question whether I have what it takes. By "question" what I mean is, I do not have what it takes. I do not know what to do. I know all the advice I would give to someone in my position- pray about it, read books, seek counsel of others, look for things to change, put myself in a place where God can change me. What if I honestly believe that for change to happen, someone besides myself has to make the changes? What do I do?
It takes two to argue. It takes two to fight. It is my choice to be frustrated. It is my choice to let my anger control me.
God, change me and change my son. Fix something which I believe is up to you to fix now. I am "turning it over" to You. I give up.
1 comment:
Adam. We all let anger get the best of us sometimes. And all of us have kids who have tantrums and bad days. If you were a fly on the wall of most homes you'd be surprised that your situation or "bad day" is not atypical. Seriously.
You're not the perfect parent.
Neither am I.
Nobody is. We ALL fall short.
You don't have a perfect kid.
Neither do I.
Nobody does. They ALL fall short in different ways.
We live in a fallen world and that is just the reality of life.
It stinks sometimes and there are things we do/say/feel that we cannot take back, and there are things we can NOT change no matter how hard we try (I think of my Mother, my Father, my sisters, etc.), but you CAN choose to let it destroy you by eating away at your joy, trust me, I know. I'm not trying to minimize your feelings but I am just wanting you to know not to be too hard on yourself or the situation because you are not alone.
You are a good Dad and you know that. Danny is a bright, strong boy and I cannot wait to see who God has him be when he's a young man one day. He's going to be a leader, I can tell you that. And you will have lots of stories to tell him of what a pain in the neck he was for you sometimes! :-)
Our Lord sometimes allows us to have something in our lives that is difficult to FORCE us to not be prideful, to throw up our arms in defeat so that we are in complete surrender to Him, so I don't think this situation is a no-win situation. As a sister in Christ I see a brother in Christ who is learning to trust God in his parenting, and in learning to trust God's will for his and his son's lives.
I'm proud of you for expressing your heart and for surrendering it over to the only Perfect Father there is.
Post a Comment